About Us

At Thanos Corp, we admire the pioneers in the field of stochastic murder, who have successfully built a modest amount of random death into their business models.

Everyone from health insurance providers, vehicle manufacturers, police unions and gun lobbies all expect to cause a certain amount of random murder in a fiscal year, and they profit nicely from it.

However, we feel that the time has come to step boldly into an exciting new future, where we can place stochastic murder at the core of our business model.

At Thanos Corp, our extensive database of every human on earth is parsed by a powerful AI. Deep learning algorithms select clients, who are matched with one of our elite contractors. Upon completion of a terminal client interaction, the contractor reallocates the assets of the client, and pays a portion of those assets back to us. This model makes our service free at the point of delivery, and capable of scaling globally.